Dreams on Fire
by annemarieknight
Summary: Title comes from a song on the Slumdog Millionaire soundtrack. This story is about Sam, Dean, and a girl. they grew up with this girl. The only important thing, it seemed, was that she was a demon magnet. But, there is something more to Kelsey... Sam/OC


**Kelsey's POV**

It was like surfacing after a high dive, that millisecond where you wonder how far away from the air you are, and if you took a deep enough breath. My eyes had been open, but it sitll felt like I'd just woken up.

Jake was breathing heavily next to me on the bed. Some part of me hoped that what I thought had happened hadn't, until I feel those cheap motel sheets on my naked skin. Jake seemed to realize what was going on when he saw my eyes widen and fill with tears. He sat up quickly, bare chest glowing golden in the yellow light, and reached out to touch my shoulder. But, he stopped short, hands only inches away, and I could feel the heat radiating like a sunburn against my neck.

"Listen..." He said frantically, hesitating as he remembered my name. "Kelsey...if I had known about...that you were...I never would've, I couldn't stop. And she...you...were..."

It was only then that the soreness between my legs registered, and I realized, though it should have been obvious, I was no longer a virgin.

"I'm sorry..." He trailed off, placing his large hands over his face.

Even though I was traumatized, and scared, and hurting, I could tell that he was genuinely sorry. And, something inside of me wanted to comfort him. it might even have been the real me. I knew what it was like to love someone I couldn't have. I remembered all the times I had looked at Sam, and wanted so desperately to touch him, hold him, feel for him in a way that he couldn't understand, that I could never tell him. I would rather have something with with him than nothing at all. So, whichever part of me it was that was hurting for Jake, I couldn't watch him drown in guilt...for _feeling_ something...something for _me_. However wrong it had been, what he'd done to me, it meant that I had been a part of something, a way for two people who loved each other to be together after years of separation. It might be the closest I'd ever gotten to the real thing.

I sniffed, wiping tears off my face and moving closer to him under the covers. I'd never felt so exposed in my life, or shy, when our skin touched, but I tried to get over it as I wrapped my arms around him. It wasn't me he was in love with, but he seemed to appreciate the gesture all the same. I said through tears, trying to regain my composure, "It's all right...I understand..." again and again.

He ran a hand through my hair, though a look of longing betrayed his true pain. He wanted her back.

Just when I thought my mood could sink no lower, the motel door flew open. Somehow, I tried to hope it wouldn't be who I thought. No such luck. Not for me.

**Sam's POV**

At last, motel where that idiot Jake registered. Under his real name, no less. And I didn't even have the patience to wait for a plan to form when the clerk told me a redhead had been with him.

Millions of things he could have done to Kelsey ran through my mind as I strode toward that door, none of them pleasant. And millions of ways to kill that bastard weren't far behind. I didn't want to believe she was...

(dead)

but it was in my nature to prepare for the worst, it was what I had been raised to assume. Besides...Kelsey had been too good a part of my life for too long. It was about time something ripped her away from me. Things always ended in blood and tears. With me.

It was safe to go ahead and blame myself, but I wasn't quite able to imagine life without her yet. It was the only thing that kept me walking. If something had happened though, I was prepared to lost my mind (after I killed Jake). Might be the first peace I ever felt.

I reached into my coat to take out my handgun, finger itching to pull the trigger, afraid that what I was about to see was even worse than I'd imagined. Archdemons...no way of knowing what ran through their heads, what equated to their form of fun or entertainment. And the way this guy had looked at her...

I shook it off, but all my anger, all my fear, all my last bits of hope for her overflowed, and I only just kept myself from yelling something -anything- as I kicked the door open and looked inside.

**Kelsey's POV**

I looked up at Sam and cried harder, knowing instantly that whatever chance in hell we'd had before was gone forever, once he realized what he was seeing.

For one glorious moment of limbo, he still thought the best he ever had of me. The situation didn't look like what it was. Well, not exactly what it was. Or, maybe it did. I was losing track of right and wrong in the middle of all this 'gray area' stuff. Could any mere mortal be expected to keep up with it? But then again, my humanity had also been questioned recently anyway.

Sam pointed the gun at Jake, breathing heavily, and probably would have shot already if it hadn't meant risking hitting me.

"Get off of her!" He yelled angrily. "Get away!" It looked as though it was taking all of his restraint to hold back as he transferred his weight from one foot to the other. Instantly, my heart screamed not to let Sam hurt Jake, no matter what it took. Lydia was not too far gone. In fact, she seemed closer to the surface every day.

It stopped crying and hurled myself off of the bed and in front of Sam, luckily taking the sheet with me toga-style. He automatically lowered the gun, even jumping a bit when I placed a halting hand on his chest. I think it started to dawn on him then what I was about to say, because something about his face changed, even if I couldn't exactly put my finger on it.

I wasn't crying anymore, wasn't the type to go on long jags, even when the idea seemed increasingly appealing by the second.

"Sam," I said, sounding calmer than I felt, "don't hurt him."

He looked down at me, towering above my head as he was, lips not moving, but eyes seeming to say 'Come again?' for him. HIs chest tensed beneath my fingers, and for the first time in my life, I was terrified of Sam Winchester...

I took my hand back, clutching the top of the sheet/toga against my collar bone. Slowly, I backed away, wondering if he would just shoot me now instead. The way he looked, I wouldn't put it past him. I heard the bed settle noisily as Jake stood, an arm held out, hand fisted, ready to fight Sam if it came to that, to protect Lydia.

Though I'd told myself I didn't care, my heart said otherwise, the more it settled on Sam...hating...me. I wanted more and more to explain, to beg him to understand, but I knew he wouldn't. I felt Jake close behind me now, that familiar heat warming my back.

"Kelsey..." Sam said, breathing in sharply, and I looked away, closing my eyes in anticipation of a blow, or yelling, or anything. But he didn't do that, I just flinched as I heard the door bang against the wall. He'd slammed it open on his way out of my life.

**Sam's POV**

Hot tears threatened at the corners of my eyes, and my gun hung limply by my side. I was probably scaring people, if there were any people around. I got in the car and headed back.

It was no wonder she'd chosen him, no wonder he's chosen her.

And who did I have to blame but myself for never telling her I loved her?


End file.
